Dance with Life

Written By Jules Lowe

… how finding your joy can change your whole outlook on life.

Disco vibes can be good for both your body and your mind @Jules Lowe Counselling

I didn’t have dance lessons as a child. In fact, until five years ago, my dancing was limited to late nights in discotheques and wedding receptions… Then I took a leap (almost literally!) and joined an Amateur Dramatic Theatre Society. Singing was my thing. Acting? Well at least I’d directed some banging Nativities and End of Year Productions and let’s face it, teaching primary school children often involved giving the performance of a lifetime. But dancing? Dancing scared me. My body froze. Even more so when people started watching (I genuinely asked if I could get the audience to close their eyes but apparently this was a no go!). And yet if ever there was a metaphor for how I was living my life compared to how I wanted to live my life, this was it.

Dance with life

Daring to step on to the dance floor @Jules Lowe Counselling

Through dancing, I started to learn the importance of loosening up and going with the flow – instead of constantly worrying about what people think, just enjoy the present moment and make the most of it. And do you know what? The more I loosened up on the dance floor, the more confident I became but also the better I got. I find as soon as I get in my head and start overthinking when I’m dancing, my limbs literally don’t move. However, if I tell myself I can do it, and stop worrying about what others think, I actually move better and give a better performance. And what’s more exciting, far from being selfish, the joy that oozes out of me actually brings joy to others. All of this can apply to life too. As Susan Jeffers suggests in “End the Struggle and Dance with Life,” if we stop worrying and trying to control what happens in our lives, but rather let go and trust that, “it’s all happening perfectly,” we can get much more enjoyment from the present moment but also that life will turn out better. Let go, and trust in ourselves and our bodies, and who knows where life will lead us.

Dancing is bonding

Whether you’re dancing on stage, at a wedding or even at an ecstatic dance in the woods, there is something magical in the bonds that you can create with people through the communal aspect of dancing. I love being part of the ensemble when I dance, as we really do support each other and share the highs and lows together (again literally and metaphorically!). You can get the same feeling from any situation where you are dancing in rhythm with others – and there’s research that backs this up too! There’s also something in just letting your hair down and losing your inhibitions in a socially acceptable way – going with the flow with the support of others and connecting in foolishness, a safe space to just be yourself, free from judgement. Just blame it on the boogie! Add to that that surge of nostalgia that comes over you when a song from a happy time is played and you look around and see others feel it too – a sense of belonging without having to say a word – and you’ll find that the benefits are endless!

Dancing and the brain

I don’t know about you, but one of the reasons I love dancing is that it can give me a complete break from thinking about anything else, especially when I’m learning a new dance. Dancing can really challenge your brain as it involves a lot more multi-tasking than other activities, and there are studies that show that it can actually help develop new neural connections, especially in terms of memory and spatial recognition. There are also studies that suggest that it can help reduce stress and reduce the risk of dementia – some of this is still observational evidence but I’m willing to suggest that getting lost in music is one of the most joyful and healthy ways to be, both for our bodies AND our minds.

Don't think, just dance - get out of your mind and into your body @Jules Lowe Counselling

So, what I’ve learned is to dance like nobody’s watching – both on the dance floor and in life – and that by shining and being my most fabulous self I can actually encourage others to do the same. Now your joy may not be the same, but I truly believe that finding your joy is one of the secrets to life. Need help finding your joy? Want to care less about what people think? Come and see me, and we’ll find your joy together.

Jules Lowe
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