Post-Show Blues
The Show Must Go On… but what happens when it’s over?
Not to be too dramatic(!), but I find “post-show blues” hit me hard. Every. Single. Show. Just because I spend so much of my day working with bereavement and loss doesn’t mean I’m cool with endings. Reader, I am not. That is the point. The cast take their final bow, the curtain closes, and I’m a puddle of tears. But one thing I’ve learnt to do is acknowledge my grief, to notice it’s there, and in the case of show week, manage how I’m going to deal with it by taking in every moment that I can. For those of you currently going, “I’m sorry, what?”, “post-show blues” is the term often used to describe the rollercoaster of emotions a performer can feel at the end of a run of shows, when we know that we shall never perform that show again. I speak personally from a very amateur perspective, used to doing a run of six shows in the space of a week, but I have it on good authority that it’s a phenomenon that isn’t just limited to the Am-Dram world and that actually, it might be useful to consider for anything that involves us working together in a team to achieve something that then finishes, any kind of ending, and of course that’s where I start thinking about grief.
Click on the pic for my Instagram post on learning to shine on stage @Jules Lowe Counselling
Now I’m not suggesting that “post-show blues” are in themselves a reason to seek counselling (although if you are finding that you’re particularly struggling, it may be that this loss has occurred on top of a series of other losses, and it might be worth exploring this in a safe space). What I am suggesting, however, is that we can learn a lot from how we grieve a show. Some of us move straight onto the next one – by the time it comes to two-show Saturday we’re pretty much done with the current show and onto the next. And if this is how you feel then fabulous – it’s important to recognise that as with other endings, we will not all experience them in the same way, and it will all depend on how you felt about the show, the people, the experience as well as previous experiences that have shaped you into the unique and fabulous person that you are. However, if you are left feeling close to distraught straight after a show, please know that you are not alone - “post-show blues” are very common and normal, and are a sign that you cared about something.
It’s an ending – the ways things were are no longer the way things will be. Yes, the actual show week may only last a week, but it’s amazing how quickly we get into a routine, isn’t it? Then of course there’s the many months of rehearsals… A performance of any kind grows with the cast and production team – words and music are taken from the page and given life, ideas are added, visions are changed, and it feels like everyone involved has ownership. Sometimes people are more than happy to say goodbye to what they’ve created, but other times it can feel much harder. And what’s also created is a collective – a group of people all working together to create something special, from performers to backstage to front of house to the audience who come and watch and help the performance come alive. There is something incredibly bonding about creating a show together and just like with any other attachment, once these bonds have been formed it can feel really hard to say goodbye.
So once you’ve acknowledged the ending, what then? Here a just a few things that may help (and big surprise, I’d say they’re relevant for other endings too!):
Imagine dressing up as a cupcake and getting to twirl around on stage with a sparkly umbrella, and then imagine realising you will probably never get to do this again... However, the friendships that I formed with my fellow cupcakes continue to this day!
Reflect on your time performing
Documenting your experience can help you make sure you never forget it. This may be as simple as creating a social post full of photos and sentiments – the creation of my end of show reel has now become a much-needed ritual to help me reflect on my week and the amazing memories that it’s brought. You may want to go as far as journaling your feelings around it, as this can help gain understanding and also help you to put things into perspective. It may help to talk to others – a nostalgic chat with a fellow cast member or a simple “I’m still so tired” can help you feel less alone.
Manage your ending in a way that suits you
Unlike many other endings that we experience in life, this is one that we can control and try to get what we need from it – we know that a performance is going to end, so we can do what we can to prepare for it. This may be taking a moment to recognise that it’s nearly over before it’s over, to get what we want from it. It may be turning up to “Get Out” and helping take down the set (I haven’t actually been sponsored by any directors/stage managers to say this although you will be very much in their good books(!) – I find it goes a long way towards convincing myself that it really is over, however shattered I may be!). It may be attending an after-show celebration (organised or otherwise) to help give you closure on that particular show.
Decide what you are going to take with you for the future
As with any loss, the concept of continuing bonds can help you navigate life after the show. Is there a learning or experience that you can take with you? Maybe you’ve learnt a new dance step or sung a solo line for the first time, so now you know you can do it. Maybe that thrill of being on stage will inspire you to seek further challenges. Maybe it’s a new friendship, or something you learnt about yourself, such as your ability to cope when a costume malfunctions or a mic stops working. Whatever it is, our experiences shape us and make us who we are, so consider how this experience has shaped you.
Whether you’ve ever experienced “post-show blues” or not, if you are surprised at the feelings that emerge and wish to explore them in a safe, non-judgemental space, get in touch. You are not alone, your feelings are valid and I’m here to contain them and help you grow.
